Re-Entry

I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't worried at all about what our transition back to the U.S. will be like. Or maybe, I should say, my transition back. I'm sure the kids will be fine, kids being kids and all. But me? Well, that's a different story.

In 1993, I spent a few months in Romania working in an orphanage. It was a most transformative experience in my life, but it also took me way out of my comfort zone. At that time, Romania was still in the shadow of its former dictator Ceaucescu, and the country was in shambles. There were no grocery stores to speak of in the town in which I lived, and quality of life was just very different from what I was used to in the United States. It is an experience that would not trade for anything, although I will say that coming back to the U.S. was a bit startling, and I can remember things like being completely overwhelmed in the grocery stores simply due to the number of choices for everything, and also being a bit disgusted with what, in contrast to what I experienced in Romania, seemed like quite a bit of excess in terms of the way people lived.

The kids and I have been in Belgrade (with the exception of short visits around the region) for nearly 17 months straight without a visit back to the U.S. I like to joke and say that the kids and I have been here in Serbia consecutively longer than anyone else associated with the Embassy, since most of the Foreign Service Officers and their families travel back home every summer (and sometimes for the holidays). Actually this is not a joke; we probably have been here for a longer stretch than most everyone else at the Embassy. Eli's been back to the U.S. (and even to Nashville once) several times, but we have not, which is fine, but interesting to think about.

And so, I wonder what the transition will be like. I have a lot of things that I'm worried about. Getting the kids in school, getting Graham's school situation set up, getting moved, getting a car, figuring out tons of other logistics. But those things I can deal with. I wonder what it's going to be like going to a big U.S. grocery store for the first time. The grocery stores here are leagues above those in which I shopped in Romania in 1993, but still, there are lots of things that I can't find in local grocery stores, and I wonder what it will feel like to have everything I could possibly want right at my fingertips. I wonder what it's going to feel like driving without having to literally fight my way down a super-narrow road and around huge trucks and other cars. I wonder what it will be like not having to constantly avoid potholes. I wonder what it will feel like to go to a restaurant and not be worried that the guy at the next table is going to whip out a cigarette and start blowing smoke in our faces. I wonder what it will feel like to go out for a run and not worry about being attacked by a stray dog. I wonder what it will feel like to drive through downtown Nashville and not see bombed-out buildings. I wonder what it will feel like not to be able to call the Embassy every time something goes wrong in our house. I wonder what it will feel like not to have Mobile Patrol stop by my house several times a day to check on us and our belongings. I wonder what it will feel like not to be able to walk the kids to school every day. I wonder what it will feel like not to be able to walk up to our favorite Serbian restaurant and have an amazing dinner for less than $10 per person. I wonder what it will feel like to be out in public and to understand everything that everyone is saying. I wonder what it will feel like not to have to start every exchange with someone with the question "Do you speak English?"

These are all things that have become the norm for us. Change is hard. It remains to be seen how hard this transition will be for us, but I have no doubt that we'll get through it, and that in the end, we'll end up missing many things about our lives here in Serbia (with the exception of the potholes, the stray dogs, and the smoke!!)